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Investing as a sport?

I said last week that money doesn't generallyone another. "Let the best one one win." Each
buy happiness, butthe lack of it can buyfacesthe same challenges. Each is armed with
absolute misery. This, by the way, is notjustthe same weapons. Eachhas an equal chance of
my personal observation. It is the conclusionfeeling the thrill of victory and theagony of
of some ofthe most respected happinessdefeat (unless, of course, you happen to be
researchers (Yes, there is such athing --the  Tampa
read  my  book.)
Bay  Devil  Rays).
The trouble is that we have to pay attention
to money more whenwe lack it than when weImagine the play-by-play if hunting truly was
have  it.  This  doesn't  seem  fair, but thea sport: "Man isclosing in. He's coming up
from behind and rounding to the southside.
Lord works in mysterious ways. Most peopleHe's raising his rifle. Deer doesn't even
are invested in thestock market, eitherappear tonotice. Oh, I can't watch. This is
directly or through mutual funds,going  to  be  a  massacre.
pensionplans or some other vehicle. So it is
hard  not  to  be  part  of  theWait! Deer has just bucked up and twisted. He
spins around atree, and -- look! Deer has a
Panic Crowd. But I ,in all my financialrifle  too.  He  aims.  He  shoots!
wisdom, have two goldenrules to offer. These
may not make you rich, but they will keepyouHe Kills!!! Man is down. What an upset,
happy.ladies  and  gentlemen."
Number One: Place your investments in theIn real life, Deer doesn't win very often. In
safest vehiclespossible (Do as I say, not asfact, I estimatethat Man is about 4.3
I do!) and forget about them. Whenthe nextgazillion times more likely to be defeatedby
recession ends, take inventory and see thathis own team mate than by the opposition. We
you stillhave investments. Most of us don'tcall  this
get a rush out of watchingour investments
plunge or yo-yo up and down. Most people"friendly  fire".
arehappier when they forget they even have
investments.Contrast this to Itchy Trading Finger, who
stands an equal chanceof striking gold or of
Number Two: If you are one of those peoplemoving into a cardboard box on the
with a terminal caseof Itchy Trading Finger,streetcorner. The stock market truly is
then you probably would not be happyignoringsport, for those who choose totreat it that
your investments. Place aside what you needway. Which is why it is so important to put
for thelong term, such as retirement if youraside
heart  lasts  that  long.
-- in safe, secure investments -- the money
Don't play with this money. Don't touch it.you feel you need foryour future. That way,
Trade  only  withwhen Itchy Trading Fingers retire, theycan
move  out  of  the  cardboard  box.
"extra" money. The rest of you are asking,
"What's  that?",  butFor the rest of us, we are happier getting
our sport watchingmonster trucks crush WWF
Itchy Trading Fingers know what I'm talkingactors. Oops! There I go again, mixingmy
about.  They  viewstock  trading  as a sport.sports and my metaphors, not to mention
ignoring severalfederal safety standards. May
In fact, stock trading is a sport. Much moreyour  investments  be  safer  than  my
than, say,hunting. Think about it. In a
sport, two equal opponents squareoff againstWWF friends, and may you sleep well at night.



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