| 1. One lawyer is a good as another. | | | | solving approach. There are many books available that |
| There is a tremendous difference between lawyers. | | | | may help guide you and your children through the |
| Some are down to earth and some are distant and | | | | divorce process. There are many family therapists that |
| hostile. Some call you back the same day and others | | | | can also help. But there is no substitute for caring, |
| wait 5 days to call you. There are attorneys that only | | | | involved parents. Never use the children as pawns. |
| practice in divorce and marital law. Others are like a | | | | And don't try to destroy your soon to be ex-spouse. |
| jack of all trades - they practice in divorce, criminal law, | | | | The children will always have a need for both of their |
| bankruptcy, etc. But remember the old saying - "Jack | | | | parents. Divorce will not change that fact. |
| of all trades, master of none." Look for a lawyer that | | | | 5. This is easy and I can do it completely myself. |
| has adequate skills for your situation. More important: | | | | Partially true but BEWARE! Divorce can be complex |
| look for a lawyer that matches your values and has | | | | or it can be simple. Your best bet is to start off with a |
| the ability to communicate well with you. | | | | legal consultation. A good lawyer will make you aware |
| 2. The mother always gets the kids. | | | | of the major pitfalls without pushing you into |
| Not true anymore. Florida law now treats men and | | | | immediately paying for more. In 30 minutes, you will be |
| women alike when it comes to custody decisions. | | | | more able to calculate the risks and rewards of doing |
| Many states are similar. Gender bias is slowly | | | | it yourself. If you decided to pursue this route there are |
| disappearing from marital law. Does this mean men get | | | | many different options. A paralegal service can do |
| custody as often as women? You already know the | | | | your initial paperwork for a couple of hundred dollars. |
| answer to that - women still appear to get custody | | | | Some attorneys will do initial paperwork for 400 to 500 |
| more often than men. But men should take heart | | | | dollars. And there are many self help books available |
| because the law is now more of a level playing field | | | | online and in bookstores. |
| for custody battles. | | | | 6. If my spouse doesn't pay child support, he/she won't |
| 3. Divorce through an attorney is completely | | | | be allowed to see the kids. |
| unaffordable. | | | | Not true. Florida law is very specific about this. |
| Divorce will always be an expensive process. But | | | | Visitation with the kids will go on whether or not child |
| there are more alternatives than ever. There are | | | | support is paid. Many states have similar laws. You |
| do-it-yourself forms you can use to get your divorce | | | | cannot and should not condition visitation on the |
| done. And there are attorneys that offer partial | | | | payment of child support. Remember, child support will |
| representation. This can take the form of paperwork | | | | always be separately enforceable at a later time. |
| preparation or one-time consultation. Many states | | | | Visitation is beneficial to the children right now. It can |
| embrace a new concept called "unbundled services." | | | | never truly be made up if visitation is denied for a long |
| This concept entails providing complete representation | | | | period of time. |
| or individual phases of representation. Some attorneys | | | | 7. My name is on the deed or title, so it is mine. |
| will provide representation for one form, or one hearing. | | | | Not true. A judge can change that with a stroke of the |
| The benefit: you can get the exact level of help that | | | | pen. Property distribution goes according to Florida law, |
| matches your financial capability. | | | | not by whose name is on the title. Some states |
| 4. My children will be screwed up permanently. | | | | assume all property owned by either spouse is |
| Not only is this not necessarily true, but the answer will | | | | automatically marital property. This is an area that is |
| depend on you and your spouse. Both of you must | | | | best discussed with an attorney located in your state. |
| guide the children through this process with a problem | | | | Copyright 2006 The Divorce Center P.A. |