| 1. One lawyer is a good as another. | | | | that may help guide you and your children |
| | | | through the divorce process. There are many |
| There is a tremendous difference between | | | | family therapists that can also help. But |
| lawyers. Some are down to earth and some are | | | | there is no substitute for caring, involved |
| distant and hostile. Some call you back the | | | | parents. Never use the children as pawns. |
| same day and others wait 5 days to call you. | | | | And don't try to destroy your soon to be |
| There are attorneys that only practice in | | | | ex-spouse. The children will always have a |
| divorce and marital law. Others are like a | | | | need for both of their parents. Divorce will |
| jack of all trades - they practice in | | | | not change that fact. |
| divorce, criminal law, bankruptcy, etc. But | | | | |
| remember the old saying - "Jack of all | | | | 5. This is easy and I can do it completely |
| trades, master of none." Look for a lawyer | | | | myself. |
| that has adequate skills for your situation. | | | | |
| More important: look for a lawyer that | | | | Partially true but BEWARE! Divorce can be |
| matches your values and has the ability to | | | | complex or it can be simple. Your best bet |
| communicate well with you. | | | | is to start off with a legal consultation. A |
| | | | good lawyer will make you aware of the major |
| 2. The mother always gets the kids. | | | | pitfalls without pushing you into immediately |
| | | | paying for more. In 30 minutes, you will be |
| Not true anymore. Florida law now treats men | | | | more able to calculate the risks and rewards |
| and women alike when it comes to custody | | | | of doing it yourself. If you decided to |
| decisions. Many states are similar. Gender | | | | pursue this route there are many different |
| bias is slowly disappearing from marital law. | | | | options. A paralegal service can do your |
| Does this mean men get custody as often as | | | | initial paperwork for a couple of hundred |
| women? You already know the answer to that - | | | | dollars. Some attorneys will do initial |
| women still appear to get custody more often | | | | paperwork for 400 to 500 dollars. And there |
| than men. But men should take heart because | | | | are many self help books available online and |
| the law is now more of a level playing field | | | | in bookstores. |
| for custody battles. | | | | |
| | | | 6. If my spouse doesn't pay child support, |
| 3. Divorce through an attorney is completely | | | | he/she won't be allowed to see the kids. |
| unaffordable. | | | | |
| | | | Not true. Florida law is very specific about |
| Divorce will always be an expensive process. | | | | this. Visitation with the kids will go on |
| But there are more alternatives than ever. | | | | whether or not child support is paid. Many |
| There are do-it-yourself forms you can use to | | | | states have similar laws. You cannot and |
| get your divorce done. And there are | | | | should not condition visitation on the |
| attorneys that offer partial representation. | | | | payment of child support. Remember, child |
| This can take the form of paperwork | | | | support will always be separately enforceable |
| preparation or one-time consultation. Many | | | | at a later time. Visitation is beneficial to |
| states embrace a new concept called | | | | the children right now. It can never truly |
| "unbundled services." This concept entails | | | | be made up if visitation is denied for a long |
| providing complete representation or | | | | period of time. |
| individual phases of representation. Some | | | | |
| attorneys will provide representation for one | | | | 7. My name is on the deed or title, so it is |
| form, or one hearing. The benefit: you can | | | | mine. |
| get the exact level of help that matches your | | | | |
| financial capability. | | | | Not true. A judge can change that with a |
| | | | stroke of the pen. Property distribution |
| 4. My children will be screwed up | | | | goes according to Florida law, not by whose |
| permanently. | | | | name is on the title. Some states assume all |
| | | | property owned by either spouse is |
| Not only is this not necessarily true, but | | | | automatically marital property. This is an |
| the answer will depend on you and your | | | | area that is best discussed with an attorney |
| spouse. Both of you must guide the children | | | | located in your state. |
| through this process with a problem solving | | | | |
| approach. There are many books available | | | | Copyright 2006 The Divorce Center P.A. |